It feels like none of this is real, I pretend that my heart and my head are well.

I just drew myself a self-portrait. I have finally realized exactly how unattractive I am; also how untalented I have become.

:

I remember a time, way back in grade 3, when we had an art assignment to pick a picture out of a magazine, cut it in half, and draw in the half that was missing, for a task of understanding symmetry.

I saw the teacher marking my assignment and before she even put a grade on it, she threw it straight into the trash can. I went up to her and asked her why she threw out my assignment. She told me I didn't follow the instructions and just pasted the whole picture to the page. I then pleaded with her that I did no such thing (I was not that stupid). I pulled it out of the trash, made her touch the paper to see that half was a magazine and the other half was drawn and coloured, and colour matched (the teacher wore glasses). She then gave me an A+.

I still remember that it was a picture of a cheesecake with raspberry sauce drizzled overtop, on purple construction paper.

I miss loving to draw, and draw well. Even back in grade 3.

I no longer use art as my go-to, and I miss that. I hate that technology and school have sucked the creativity out of me.

Listening to: Forests and Sands by Camera Obscura

Fact of the day: It's only Tuesday.