"I think everyone should like everyone."
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
You can’t get mad at me for not remembering, thats like yelling at someone for having alzheimers!
Not quite, but I made my point.
Lately I’ve been forgetting a lot of things. It may have something to do with my lack of sleep- yet somehow never feeling tired at night- or with my diet- which is based mainly around peanut butter and/ or apples.
Some things I’ve been forgetting( / to do list):
· Winter can last until the end of May
· Even out my eating habits
· Sleep
· Take some time for myself (have some 'me time')
· Dislike apple flavored candy (and any type of jolly-rancher)
· My dads pretty rad (Rad-Dad?)
· The CDs I want to buy
· Print my resume
· Look in the mall for another job
· Look anywhere for another job
· Go get my license
· Homework (major assignments)
· Go to class (not so much forgetting, more so neglecting)
· Pay my sister back
· Save my money
· How insignificant most things are
· Just exactly how much certain people mean to me
· How much I have lost faith in humanity
Coincidentally enough, I sat here for an extended period of time (which I will not specify) to try and think of the things I’d forgotten, and I still cant remember. The list was to help me remember these things I had recently remembered forgetting for a later date.
One thing I have discovered [not forgotten] recently though, is that I subconsciously hate myself, and always want myself to be unhappy. For example: on a smaller spectrum, if I really like my hair one day, I will touch or play with it until I make something look or feel wrong with it, then I can continue on with my day. Or same goes with my make-up: if I like the way I look, something must be done to stop it! If something is too perfect, I feel the need to destroy it.
A better example: someone who has been very close to me for quite a while (this be a family member, a friend, a love, an antelope it doesn’t matter and you need not know), started to get even closer (more so on the emotional level). I never really let people figure out who I am, or get too close, I don’t talk much about myself or feelings for a reason. However this person and I have been pretty tight, but I’d always hoped to be more. When this person actually started wanting to be more as well, I created a way out; to fuck things up. Needles to say, this person and I don’t talk much anymore, not like we used to anyway, and I regret that more than anything. I want this person to know that they will always have a place holder in that big ticker that keeps the days comin'.
Lately I’ve been forgetting a lot of things. It may have something to do with my lack of sleep- yet somehow never feeling tired at night- or with my diet- which is based mainly around peanut butter and/ or apples.
Some things I’ve been forgetting( / to do list):
· Winter can last until the end of May
· Even out my eating habits
· Sleep
· Take some time for myself (have some 'me time')
· Dislike apple flavored candy (and any type of jolly-rancher)
· My dads pretty rad (Rad-Dad?)
· The CDs I want to buy
· Print my resume
· Look in the mall for another job
· Look anywhere for another job
· Go get my license
· Homework (major assignments)
· Go to class (not so much forgetting, more so neglecting)
· Pay my sister back
· Save my money
· How insignificant most things are
· Just exactly how much certain people mean to me
· How much I have lost faith in humanity
Coincidentally enough, I sat here for an extended period of time (which I will not specify) to try and think of the things I’d forgotten, and I still cant remember. The list was to help me remember these things I had recently remembered forgetting for a later date.
One thing I have discovered [not forgotten] recently though, is that I subconsciously hate myself, and always want myself to be unhappy. For example: on a smaller spectrum, if I really like my hair one day, I will touch or play with it until I make something look or feel wrong with it, then I can continue on with my day. Or same goes with my make-up: if I like the way I look, something must be done to stop it! If something is too perfect, I feel the need to destroy it.
A better example: someone who has been very close to me for quite a while (this be a family member, a friend, a love, an antelope it doesn’t matter and you need not know), started to get even closer (more so on the emotional level). I never really let people figure out who I am, or get too close, I don’t talk much about myself or feelings for a reason. However this person and I have been pretty tight, but I’d always hoped to be more. When this person actually started wanting to be more as well, I created a way out; to fuck things up. Needles to say, this person and I don’t talk much anymore, not like we used to anyway, and I regret that more than anything. I want this person to know that they will always have a place holder in that big ticker that keeps the days comin'.
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